The Age of Your Soul

The Songs:  Background and Lyrics
 

1. "The Age of Your Soul"

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Background:

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I wrote this at the eleventh hour, just before all the tracks were sent off for mastering.  I wanted the album to have a short introduction, and I couldn't resist giving my love of European languages a tiny moment.

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Lyrics:

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The years pass by too soon

They outlast your goals

Tonight go ask the moon

the age of your soul.

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2. "Act Your Age"

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Background:

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As I live through each passing decade, I sometimes feel like a secret time traveler from the 1980s, a pivotal time in my life.  This song is about how it feels to be a voyager to the 2020s, disguised in an older body, feeling young but not being recognized as such, and, like everyone else at some point, full of knowledge and memories of an era that cannot be fully understood by anyone who did not live through it as a young adult.  But our youthful eras do not wait for us to fully comprehend and process the experience before they're gone.  Sometimes it seems easier to play along with society, and adjust our true inner selves to conform to our perceived outer selves, yet that's actually impossible to do.  I can't "act my age" even when that is the message that keeps getting reinforced by the world.

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The beginning of this song was going to be a separate album intro track, before I wrote a different intro.  The symbolic throat-clearing announces that I have something to say with this album.

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Lyrics:

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(The 2020s, 30s, 40s, watch the time just teleport me

Now you're 20, 40, 60, 80

but do you know the age of your soul?)

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Well the 80s finally slipped away and

I could never stay there, now it's all erased.

Choose your decade, matched up with your best age

where you write your best page, a piece of you remains.

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In young days, your mind still is racing

what your body's saying, all the Old Souls here

then one day, when you finally turn gray

no your spirit won't fade, it stays twenty-nine.

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"Act your age", is what they say,

but if you do, you'll fade away

and say goodbye to how you feel inside

"act your age", ooh

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Teleported to 20s California

I should probably warn ya, we can't be recognized

'cause the place in our minds

the spaces that we loved

they made us, they keep our souls behind.

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"Act your age" is what they say,

but if you do, you'll fade away

and say goodbye to how you feel inside

"act your age".

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No one ever talks about it

No one ever seems to write a song like this

But lately all I think about and lately all I care about

is only this:

My soul is not the same age

My soul is not the same age

My soul is not the same age

as what you see in me.

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Am I visible, noticeable?

Am I understood beyond the physical?

Am I lovable, or am I gullible?

Because you're acting like I am untouchable.

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Say hello to how I feel inside

though I know society is blind.

I won't act my age, embrace your cage, deny my rage, get off the stage

or say goodbye to how I feel inside

say goodbye to how I feel inside

when I act my age.

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"Act your age", ooh, "act your age".

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'Cause one day, when you're old and faded

if you're not too jade

your soul stays twenty-nine

you will see.

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3. "Connected"

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Background:

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I woke up one day with music stuck in my brain that became this song. Because it was somehow tied to a forgotten dream, I wrote the lyrics about the tenuous connection between our dreams and the reality we experience - even though I always wonder which is truly more "real".  Our daily encounters become fodder for our nightly dreamscapes as we journey into alternate realities.

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This song is also a counterpoint to various album songs that speak of focusing on your own world despite society, inasmuch as there is always some measure of hope about turning dreams into reality, and inasmuch as we should remember that we are all part of the world who affect each other.  So the debate rages on about being an almost-island vs. engaging with others.

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Lyrics:

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We're all connected when I'm asleep

We've intersected in my dreams

When I wake up, I find, it's not reality

I'm breaking up inside, I can't see what I believe

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We're unprotected as of yet

We're still subjected to a threat

When we get up, we find a new reality

that won't let up tonight

now I see just what you mean.

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We're all connected.  All connected.

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I disconnected, yeah I defected

not expected or undetected

I disconnected to stay protected

My life projected and disrespected

but it felt defective 'cause we're all connected.

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We're all connected when I'm asleep

We've intersected in my dreams

When I wake up, I find, a new reality

It shakes me up inside, when I see the things I dream.

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4. "Have You Got My Back?"

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Background:

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This is an ode to the fact that no one is an island, not even me.  Life can put the pressure on, and we all need to rely on a family member, friend, or partner from time to time.  Also the world doesn't mean much if you can't share your experience with those who are close to you.

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Lyrics:

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Well the world can really put the pressure on

and at times you feel there's nowhere left to run

I have tried so very hard to make a stand

but I only get knocked down again, every single time.

Brother, have you got my back?

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Have you got my back?

Have you got my back?

If I cannot depend on you, there's nowhere I can go, and nothing I can do.

Have you got my back?

Have you got my back?

If I cannot depend on you, I"m never going to make it through,

I'm never going to make it through this life.

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Just another day defeated by the grind

all I really want is somewhere to unwind, to clear my mind

I have waited for so long to make a change

but I only watch my dreams explode, or just wither away

Baby, have you got my back?

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Have you got my back?

Have you got my back?

If I cannot depend on you, there's nowhere I can go, and nothing I can do.

Have you got my back?

Have you got my back?

If I cannot depend on you, I"m never going to make it through,

I'm never going to make it through this life.

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My will's not enough to keep the world at bay

My heart's not strong enough

I need you here today, I need you here today.

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Well the world can really put the pressure on...

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Have you got my back?

Have you got my back?

If I cannot depend on you, there's nowhere I can go, and nothing I can do.

Have you got my back?

Have you got my back?

(If you and I can't share all this, then I don't care if it exists.)

Won't you help me make it through,

won't you help me make it through this life?

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My will's not enough to keep the world at bay

My heart's not strong enough

I need you here today, I need you here today.

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5. "The Li(f)e You Lead"

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Background:

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This chord progression came to me all at once, and the song message is simple:  no matter how you got here, you're here now, and this is the life you're living.  Be authentic, and don't live a lie.  Only you can change the path you're on, and only you can decide if there's a metaphorical hill you believe is worth climbing, and only you can decide what to do as a cast member in the "show" of life.

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This song features a key change, the only one on the album. I made a conscious effort to sneak in various song arrangement techniques here and there throughout the album.

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Lyrics:

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You are here, it is now

You arrived here somehow

Is it good?  It's the life that you lead.

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Will you stay?  Will you go?

Did you come for the show?

Hear the call of the life that you lead.

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All your dreams, all your plans

try to be all you can

while you're here on your way somewhere else.

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You're on a path

Do you still know where it goes?

Or are you just too tired to care?

And when I ask if that path is what you chose,

will you answer, will you tell me honestly?

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You are here, it is now

You arrived here somehow

Is it good?  It's the life that you lead.

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Will you stay?  Will you go?

Did you come for a show?

Hear the call of the life that you lead.

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You're on a hill

do you still care what's on top?

Or is there nothing left to see?

And will you run, will you break away from here?

Will you scream out?  Will you sit down quietly?

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We are here, it is now

We arrived here somehow

Is it good?  It's the life that we lead.

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Will we stay?  Will we go?

Are we just here for the show?

Heed the call of the life that we lead, ah ah ah

Heed the call of the life that we lead.

Heed the call of the life that we lead.

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6. "Been Too Long"

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Background:

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This was the first song recorded for the album.  Though not autobiographical, it was written mostly as a reminder to myself, to take time in life to reflect on our place in the universe (a mind-blowing exercise), and to also focus on those precious romantic moments which we hopefully have been fortunate enough to experience, no matter how ephemeral they may now seem in retrospect.

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I was inspired to write a song containing the same four repeating chords throughout its entirety, and this is the result.  (I chose A-E-G-D.)

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Lyrics:

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It's been too long since I gazed at the stars at 3:00 AM

trying to remember who I am

It's been too long since I slept on the beach, smelled the sea

trying to remember what is me.

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And hey..., hey...., hey...

it's been too long, way too long.

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It's been too long since I gazed in the eyes of a beautiful woman

who wanted me for me

It's been too long since I heard her sigh in the middle of the night

lying by my side.

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And hey..., hey...., hey...

it's been too long

Hey..., hey...., hey...

it's been too long, way too long.

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I remember long ago, I remember long ago

I was the one who told you so

Now I'm the one who doesn't know.

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I remember long ago, I remember long ago

I was leaving on my own

Now I'm finally coming home.

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And hey..., hey...., hey...

it's been too long

Hey..., hey...., hey...

it's been too long, way too long.

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Too long, too long.

Ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah

Ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah

Been too long.

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7. "A Simple Song"

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Background:

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In the late 2010s I found myself getting too caught up in the so-called news, which left a bad taste in my mouth.  Throughout my life I've had an on-again, off-again relationship with media and mainstream culture, and I decided in 2020 to check out of media in general, as an experiment in mental well-being, and just to see if I could do it.  I could, and it's been three years and counting.  I'm a simple man at heart, and prefer the small things in life to the big topics which in the end cannot be solved, stopped, or reversed by any of my good deeds, let alone by what occupies my thoughts.  "A simple song" means a peaceful state of mind, achieved by not over-worrying about the world, despite all the opportunities to do so. It's a way to protect your sanity.

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Add to this the complicated thoughts of each partner in a romantic relationship, and there you have my dual song themes.

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Lyrics:

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I'm a simple man, I've come to understand

but I spend the whole day thinking 'bout the state of man.

Time to let it go, the things beyond control

and focus on the small things that the world and you can show.

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When I'm lonely, won't you help me out?

It's the only thing I can't figure out.

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Complicated thoughts we harbor for so long

when all we really want is a simple song.

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First Love was the hardest thing to ever find

'til it became the easiest when our stars aligned

but now it's hard again, we argue all the time

Now I've got more questions than the answers you supply.

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Are you lonely?  Let me help you out.

It's the only thing we can't figure out.

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Complicated thoughts we harbor for so long

when all we really want is a simple song.

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Too much obsession with love and hate

There's too much worrying that it's too late.

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But I'm a simple man, and I've come to understand

that I can't spend my whole life worried 'bout the fate of man.

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Complicated thoughts we harbor for so long

when all we really want is a simple song, oh

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Complicated thoughts we harbor for so long

when all we really want is a simple song.

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8. "We Are Here But Us Is Gone"

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Background:

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This song is not based on anyone I know, least of all me.  I imagined a couple who used to have a serious romance, but who split up for reasons they never fully understood, and who now still see each other almost every day, either at work or in some other setting.  But the "us" (i.e. the romantic relationship) is gone.

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Lyrics:

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Though we show up every day

what we had has gone away

Do you remember how it felt inside?

Every day walking hand in hand

tender kisses by the street lamp

all those secrets that we kept alive

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Now we are here, but us is gone

We are here but us is gone.

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All the glance we exchanged

all the meetings we arranged

just to spend some time alone, we two.

How did it ever slip away?

What did we do, what did we say?

How did we make our perfect world so blue?

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We are here, but us is gone.

We are here, but us is gone.

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Did we fight for it, or just let it go?

We said we'd die for it - what did we know?

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We are here, but us is gone.

We are here, but us is gone.

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Doo doo doo...

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What happened, what happened, what happened to us anyway?

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Now we're wiser but life's a mess

now we're wondering what comes next

now that we are here but love is dead.

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We are here, but us is gone.

We are here, but us is gone.

Still unclear where we belong.

We are here, but us is gone, gone, gone.

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9. "Staring Contest"

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Background:

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This song is about the things which can stop us in our tracks if we fixate on them too long:  from waiting on (or daring) the other person to act first, to being mesmerized by the TV or internet or things seen on your cell phone, to staring into the cosmos and asking the big questions that can't be answered with certainty, and even to staring at the image looking back at you from a mirror.

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I almost didn't include this song on the album, purely for the reason that I didn't know how to bring it to life, after forming the basis of the swingy introductory guitar chords and first line of vocal melody.  I struggled with how much production to put into it, and actually ended up playing the cajon (a Christmas gift from my wife) myself in an amateurish way, rather than rely on professional drummer Jon Mattox who played on most songs on this album.  I also had Katie Fry play her harp to lend a suitable ambience.

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Lyrics:

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We've been in a staring contest

paralyzed from any action

Each of us just waiting, who's gonna blink first?

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Deep into this staring contest

there's no sign of giving in

Everyone just daring someone to go first.

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I don't know what holds us back inside

from taking steps to get on track with life.

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We've been in a staring contest

with the television screen

Each of us just waiting, who's gonna blink first?

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Deep into this staring contest

is it finally sinking in?

We don't have to keep on playing this game.

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I don't know what holds us back tonight

from taking steps to make a better life.

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I don't know what holds us back inside

from taking steps to make a better life.

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I've been in a staring contest

looking in my full-length mirror

summoning my courage to take the next step.

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I've been in a staring contest

gazing at the starry sky

daring God to tell us when and why (oh why)

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We are in a staring contest

as we live through these distractions

Tell me now, who's gonna blink first?

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10. "Hustle & Bustle"

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Background:

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I was noodling around on my Korg Minilogue xd, and liked the little synth pattern I had created, and decided to turn it into a short instrumental piece as an album interlude.  Well, after some time with it in the studio, I got the concept of adding spoken words about the general theme of being too busy with work to do the things you'd rather be doing.  I enlisted the help of Adam and Katie to ad-lib some conversation with me, and to join me in a group scream (shout out to the Wet Leg song "Ur Mum").  Adam and I also added a lead guitar part, some funky bass, and drum programming.

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"Lyrics:"

(i.e. freestyle conversation)

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New Richard:

(testily) "Hey, would you guys keep it down, I'm trying to get some work done here!"

(more resigned): "Oh no man, I can't make it, I'm too busy."

"Hey, well I gotta get back to work now. All right, later on man."

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Hustle, Bustle.

Hustle, Bustle.

Hustle, Bustle.

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(over the crowd noise:)

New Richard:  "Hey you guys, are we still going to the show?"

Katie: "Oh man, I really want to go, but I can never find a babysitter."

Adam: "Is that tomorrow? Oh no, whoa whoa whoa, hold on a minute, what?"

New Richard: "I never see you guys at all."

Katie:  "I was so busy getting ready this morning, I forgot to brush my teeth!"

Adam: "Oh my gosh!"

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Working all the time, working all the time.

Hustle hustle hustle, bustle bustle bustle.

One, two, three, tell me how does it feel?

(group scream)

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11. "Lost Angeles"

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Background:

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I wrote this on the guitar about all the young adults who move to Los Angeles to chase "the dream".  The protagonists are a couple, each of whom is pursuing a version of that dream, and each of whom is plagued by the doubts that plague all but the luckiest ones.

Because of the reference to Los Angeles, I ended up taking this song in a production direction reminiscent of The Doors, complete with some ocean surf noises.

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Lyrics:

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New York to Los Angeles, all the movie stars sitting in first class

Back here in economy, I am coming up with a strategy

High time now to make my mark

as we're touching down in a city dark

She's been waiting up for me

She's the only one who still believes.

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Lost Angeles, my cover girl

Lost Angeles, my crazy world

It makes me want to scream

abandoning a dream

Lost Angeles to me

Lost Angeles to me.

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Berlin to Los Angeles, as she plans ahead thinking 'bout the past

Her dream is unraveling, her nostalgic views are expiring.

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Lost Angeles, my cover girl

Lost Angeles, my crazy world

It makes you want to scream

abandoning a dream

Lost Angeles to me

Lost Angeles to me.

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Remember how you vowed to take it easy

but time is running out

to make your dreams come true.

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Doo doo doo-de-doo doo, doo de doo, doo de doo

Doo doo doo-de-doo doo, doo de doo, doo de doo

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She's been waiting up for me

She's the only one who still believes

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Lost Angeles, my cover girl

Lost Angeles, my crazy world

It makes me want to scream

abandoning a dream

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Lost Angeles, my cover girl

Lost Angeles, my crazy world

It makes me want to scream

abandoning a dream

Lost Angeles to me

Lost Angeles to me.

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Just got done with a wild ride

Just came out on the other side

Lost Angeles to me

Lost Angeles to me.

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12. "Second Wind"

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Background:

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I originally wrote this song on the acoustic guitar, but also play it on piano, and decided to give the recording a strong Fender Rhodes vibe.  Katie's supporting vocals add atmospheric beauty.  I had her sing the intro line as a tribute to Dolores O'Riordan of the Cranberries, who sang a similar line during the song intro for "Linger".

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The theme was inspired by a medical diagnosis that had me worried (for the second time in my life) but which ultimately gave me a new lease on life, which is what the metaphor "second wind" is all about here.

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Lyrics:

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ooh....

I feel like I've got my second wind

ready for a new world to begin

I waited out the violent time

Dealt with what was on my mind

Now I feel I've got my second wind.

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I feel like I've caught my second breath

after all these thoughts of life and death

Second chance that I've been given

Second life I plan on living

Now I feel I've caught my second breath.

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ooh...  ooh...

Second try to get it right

Second time I have survived

Now I feel I've got my second wind.

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I'll go sailing, sailing

sailing, sailing

Ready for a second chance

Ready to rejoin the dance

Now I feel I've got my second wind.

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I feel like I've got my second wind

ready for a new life to begin

Waited out the silent time

Guessing what was on your mind

Second wind, please lift me up again.

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ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh.

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13. "Sentimental Fool"

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Background:

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This song title was an early contender for the name of my album.  This is definitely an autobiographical song, unlike some others. I am nothing if not sentimental at heart.

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Like "Been Too Long", this is also an experiment in using  a repeating four-chord progression throughout - in this case the chords are D, F6, C9, G.

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Lyrics:

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Here I lie at night

in a room full of my memories

and my daydreams still seem more real than real life.

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Homegrown, past owned, aiming towards the unknown

Mind blown, soul shown, but I will remain a...

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Sentimental Fool, ooh-ooh

Sentimental Fool, ooh-ooh

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Here I cry inside

surrounded by unseeing faces

and the TV still seems more real than real life

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Homegrown, dream zone, waiting for the unknown

Mind blown, soul shown, and I will remain a...

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Sentimental Fool, ooh-ooh

Sentimental Fool, ooh-ooh

Homegrown, mind blown, I'm alone too much

Sentimental Fool, ooh-ooh

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Homegrown, dream zone, waiting for the unknown

Mind blown, soul shown, and I will remain a...

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Sentimental Fool, ooh-ooh

Sentimental Fool, ooh-ooh

Homegrown, time flown, I'm alone too much

Sentimental Fool, ooh-ooh

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...And I'm ready for the unknown.

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